Hope

Its been ages since I wrote a blog entry. I think that Christmas has resulted in much less reading than normal for me, plus I have still got a lot of the stuff from my last entry on my mind. But I wanted to write so this is kind of manufactured. Only in the sense that for once it isn't filled with massive, plaguing questions. Just little interesting ones that are probably very dependent on individual personality. Anyway, enough gibber - here it is:

So its 2007 and I am very happy about it. I love the freshness of it, like when you start a new notebook, or a new diary. I have loved the Christmas celebrations of course - I got loads of great stuff and had a lot of fun. Lee and Tracey were round for Christmas day and that always makes it more special. I totally enjoyed it so much - the family, the gifts, the discussions with my Grandad about whether or not the Salvation Army is a church (don't get me started), the laughter (and there was a lot of that!). But throughout it all, there was this underlying feeling of really looking forward to the new year. There is something about making a new start that is so refreshing. I have to wonder why. What is it about newness that is so revitalising?

I wonder if it has something to do with hope. With a new start comes hope. Hope for a good year, a better year? Hope that maybe for once the new year resolutions will be kept! But what is hope? I came up with my own definition: Hope is the thinking that something (usually good) is coming. There is something that we want to happen, and we allow ourselves to belive that it could. The web defines hope as: 'the general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled' or 'someone (or something) on which expectations are centered'
The thesaurus on my laptop suggests that the following words are all synonymous with hope: (verb) expect, trust, anticipate, wish, look forward to, (noun) expectation, optimism, anticipation, faith, desire, aspiration, dream, plan, chance, prospect, likelihood, possibility.

I disagree that hope is synonymous with faith, because the Bible tells us that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1) As far as I am aware, there is no suggestion of certainty within the definition of hope. The point of hope is that it isn't certain. I hope that the new year is good, but I don't know that it will be. I hope I will stick to my new years resolutions,(and believe me, I will try my hardest to make sure I do) but there is no guarantee that I will manage it.

I once heard or read that where there is no hope there is no joy. The problem is that if you refuse to hope you lose your joy, but if you hope and what you hoped for doesn't happen you get disappointed and embarrassed. Plus, I have to ask myself, if I am hoping in order to try to feel joy, am I not just using hope as a way of escaping the possibility of that hope not being fulfilled?

I guess my question (purely theoretical) is how much should we allow ourselves to hope, and therefore take on the possibility of disappointment, and how much should we accept things the way they are, however joyless that may be? Does that depend on what it is you hope for? If we choose to hope, should we also prepare for the possibility of thwarted hope?

I think that different people would respond to these questions in different ways. Some would always choose to hope for the best and focus on that hope. Others would choose to anticipate the worst in order to protect themselves from disappointment. I myself am the latter (shock!). Take for example exams; my housemates, and family and friends always got really fed up of me saying, 'that went really badly, I am not going to have done that well', and then ending up with a good mark.

Does anyone else do this, and if not, how do you handle the disappointment when you have hoped, but did not get the result you wanted?