I was asked about my Christian journey last week, and I found it very difficult to describe. I realised today how much of my journey is contained within those journals. So I thought it would be an interesting exercise to read back through some of them for two reasons:
- It will remind me of the way I have developed and how my spiritual life has been shaped over the years.
- I will find many prayers that have been answered, or situations I have been through which will have had some sort of resolution.
As Christians we often talk about how 'it was only years later that we realised we had to go through that.' I hope to maybe uncover some of those mysteries through this process. Also, I have often used poetry to express my feelings when I dodn't know how else to. This is a more recent development, but I think that there can often be resolutions and lessons learnt even within a short space of time. So I decided to re-read these as well..
I decided that there may be ocasions where I would like to blog about some of the lessons I have learnt or some of the thoughts I had, partly because it will be nice to share some of these things with my friends, and partly because, who knows, maybe one day they may help someone. So...
My poem blog http://kirstys-poems.blogspot.com has a list on the right hand side of the poem titles contained within the blog. Its interesting reading down the list and noticing the themes (they are glaring obvious!) One such theme is that of waiting. (See 'Waiting', 'Stuck' and 'What to do'). The one I would like to pinpoint today, I have copied below.
Nothing But Wait.
There’s nothing to do but wait
I can’t control this
I don’t own this
Or do I.
Is there more to do than wait?
Do I control this?
Do I own this?
How can I?.
Is there more to do than wait
Or nothing to do but wait?
Do you wait for the right conditions
Or do you act knowing the conditions could never be right?.
I acted knowing the conditions may never be right.
Was this the right thing to do? I guess only time will tell...!