Warning - personal (and honest) blog coming up - after my last post it seems a bit ridiculous that this is all about me again, so I guess I shouldn't have written it, but its done now so hey ho. Guess I still have a lot of work to do on that, 'making it not about me anymore' thing!
I was checking out all my friends blogs today, and came across an interesting post in Richard Wright's blog. It made me think a bit about the concept of blogging. I love blogging. I love having a forum for writing down all that is going on in my head. Its very releasing, and it helps me work out exactly what my thoughts actually are. I also enjoy blogging because I am developing a real love for writing, and am very seriously considering whether I should try to write something more substantial than a blog one day. (But for now, I will stick to the blog - think I have a long way to go yet).
However, even blogging can make you vulnerable. "What will people think of me if I write this?", "Will anyone bother to read it?", "I am sure people must be getting fed up of my massive questions and the negativity that keeps appearing in my blog". "What if people can read between the lines and see what I am really thinking and feeling", (yes, that would be the worst thing in the world!). Does anyone else get this?
I love receiving comments about my blog too, and I think this is mainly because it shows that people must be reading it and it must have been in some way interesting for them if they were bothered enough to write a comment about it.
It bothers me that these things cross my mind. My blog was never started for that purpose, it was started simply so that I could sort out the thoughts in my own head. Now I seem to be using it as some sort of way of feeling like I have some kind of significance. This bothers me mainly because actually it doesn't really do that. Trying to find significance in a blog, or in attention from other people in general always leaves me so unsatisfied. the more I get, the more I need. I guess that's why I believe the Chrisitan principle that real significance only comes from finding your worth in God, which is something we should be striving for. Does that come from making an effort to not put your value in worldly things? Does it come from God? Is it a mixture based on your personal relationship with God?
Do you think it is even possible for us to really find our true significance in God and God alone whilst we are still here in this world surrounded by all the apparent security that brings, and by all the temptations to place your value in anything other than God?
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8 comments:
"Do you think it is even possible for us to really find our true significance in God and God alone whilst we are still here in this world surrounded by all the apparent security that brings, and by all the temptations to place your value in anything other than God?"
While remembering that Christ is indeed supposed to be first in our lives and we are to look to Him, I also know that in this world we will never love the Lord as we should, nor our neighbors as ourselves. That's not an excuse nor a justification, but it is a sad reality.
I know I have more flaws than I can shake a stick at. It is too easy for me to fall on my face with temptations of the flesh or the like. However, I am thankful that with my hope in Christ, my sins (which I am unable to tally) are all forgiven. Of course, that doesn't mean that I feel cocky as I'm reminded of what David said in the Psalms, "my sins are ever before me."
So to answer your question, in Christ it is possible but outside of Christ it is impossible.
"However, even blogging can make you vulnerable. "What will people think of me if I write this?", "Will anyone bother to read it?", "I am sure people must be getting fed up of my massive questions and the negativity that keeps appearing in my blog". "What if people can read between the lines and see what I am really thinking and feeling", (yes, that would be the worst thing in the world!). Does anyone else get this?"
Well, Kirsty all I can say is, YES! You have put into words, certainly what I think at times about blogging and I'm sure what many others think too.
I often delete blogs because through wanting to say so much, I end up saying very little, trying to hide the real meaning. At the moment there is something I really want to blog and to a certain extent, need help on, but just can't think of the right words. This is maybe because we acknowlege the presence of blog-readers who we know are involved in the issue/area or aware of our hidden-blog meaning.
Let's face it, people don't have to read your blog. That's a choice.
They don't have to comment. That's a choice too.
Blogging isn't about the people who read the posts. It's about the people who write them.
Hey! LOVE this post. And, I appreciate the struggle to maintain a sense of significance in Christ rather than the things we seek to make ourselves feel worthwhile. However, I think once we recognise where we are doing this then God can help us work towards finding our significance in him again. It is one of those things that like most other things in the christian life, we find ourselves forgetting from time to time and need the Holy Spirit to remind us, so that we can repent and place our trust in God once again.
Hmm, hope this makes sense!
xx
Oh I don't know really - I think it's good to be able to be vulnerable. I have been guilty of doing it all the time, and suffer the rolling up eyes and placating smiles and do you know what - over the past year, I have changed because of those very responses. I feel like I have become closed and protective of my'self' and I don't like it. Perhaps it's my inner child or whatever, but I need people to know how I'm feeling because very often I don't get the chance to actually tell them, so I wear my heart on my sleeve and am possibly perceived as shallow, which I do and don't care about in varying degrees. Significance is a thing which is a huge temptation for me. I have, in the past, needed recognition to feel that I am important, I love feedback and hence get really ... yeah,disappointed if no one comments on my blog posting.
However, the reality is that essentially I am the person I am, flaws and all, because I believe that God created me to be so. I pray that my vulnerablitiy will allow other people to open up to me and more importantly to God. I don't think you need to read between the lines in this comment because I am totally without guile at this moment in time.
Dawn you make a good point about people not having to read the blog or comment. That is very true. I am also glad you can identify with me. I too, often delete posts, and even now I am still concerned that people know more about me than I want them to because they read my blog. I guess I will never know unless people choose to ackowledge that they have read between the lines - and you know that in blogosphere, that doesn't happen!
Rach, it does make sense, but I have a question for you. How do you practically stop putting your significance in 'things' rather than God? You say that once we recognise the areas where we are finding our significance, God can help us work towards finding our significance in Him again. How? How do I know I am doing it 'right?'
Liz - what can I say? I found myself getting all scrunched up in when I read your post. Do you know what I mean by that? I just wanted to shout, 'no, no Liz, please don't stop being so vulnerable'. I absolutely love that you are like that. It is so refreshing. I admire you so much for it, and in many ways long for that sort of freedom of expression. Yet I don't want it at the same time, because as you say, I want to protect myself. Liz I think you are superb how you are and I wouldn't want you to be any other way. Besides, I think your vulnerability aleady does allow others to open up to you, and consequently to God. Thanks for being you.
Hey - thanks. Realilty is I can't change how I am now, I've been like it for too long ,all my life in fact. Vulnerable is my default setting I guess, so I will continue to be me - whether you like it or not. I'm just glad you like it, makes it easier for us all to get along, don't you think?
D had some interesting points in an email that suggested maybe I am more aware of the times I am NOT vulnerable these days, because , in my work, I meet with loads of people who, although lovely, are NOT my firends in the real sence of the word. AND the other thing is that I have discovered part of my job, not in the JD though, is to explore other people's vulnerablilties to help them develop. Again, another helpful posting Kirsty.
What I'm saying to you Kirsty, and other folks who have been anxious about appearing vulnerable in blog world and who have issued disclaimers at some point in their postings, is it's ok - OK?
I hear what you are saying, and agree in theory. It is ok to be vulnerable in a blog, especially when the people who read it are such great people, and in general are close friends. I would always encourage others to be that vulnerable. In other words, for people like me its ok to be vulnerable in a blog, till its you that is the vulnerable one. Am I getting complicated again?!?
I know what you mean about disclaimers. I guess I do that quite a bit. In fact, reading back through some of my previous entries makes me laugh when I think about how often I do that! Interesting comment.
xxx
mmmmmm wow I can't believe I inspied (or at least gave a nudge) to this fantastically well written blog. Mine was just "no one reads my blogs" in a sort of I dunno what co all it but this is interesting and well I'm gonna have to read it at least 3 times cause it's way to smart for me to understand
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