Wow!

What a Sunday! I feel like I came away having experienced every emotion under the sun! Well not quite but you know what I mean. It was such a joy to share with Ruth and Chris as they publicly declared their faith and their commitment to God and to our Church by becomming Salvation Army soldiers.

Every time I witness a new enrolment, I come away feeling challenged. The articles of war Salvation Army soldiers commit to are big and tough to live by. Richard got it right today when he said its about being sold out for God. Literally, if I took those articles of war as seriously as I should, would my life look the same? I will let them speak for themselves:

Having accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour and Lord, and desiring to fulfil my membership of His Church on earth as a soldier of The Salvation Army, I now by God's grace enter into a sacred covenant.

I believe and will live by the truths of the word of God expressed in The Salvation Army's eleven articles of faith.

I will be responsive to the Holy Spirit's work and obedient to His leading in my life, growing in grace through worship, prayer, service and the reading of the Bible.

I will make the values of the Kingdom of God and not the values of the world the standard for my life.

I will uphold Christian integrity in every area of my life, allowing nothing in thought, word or deed that is unworthy, unclean, untrue, profane, dishonest or immoral.

I will maintain Christian ideals in all my relationships with others; my family and neighbours, my colleagues and fellow salvationists, those to whom and for whom I am responsible, and the wider community.

I will uphold the sanctity of marriage and of family life.

I will be a faithful steward of my time and gifts, my money and possessions, my body, my mind and my spirit, knowing that I am accountable to God.

I will abstain from alcoholic drink, tobacco, the non-medical use of addictive drugs, gambling, pornography, the occult and all else that could enslave the body or spirit.

I will be faithful to the purposes for which God raised up The Salvation Army, sharing the good news of Jesus Christ, endeavouring to win others to Him, and in His name caring for the needy and the disadvantaged.

I will be actively involved, as I am able, in the life, work, worship and witness of the corps, giving as large a proportion of my income as possible to support its ministries and the worldwide work of the Army.

I will be true to the principles and practices of The Salvation Army, loyal to its leaders, and I will show the spirit of salvationism whether in times of popularity or persecution.

I now call upon all present to witness that I enter into this covenant and sign these articles of war of my own free will, convinced that the love of Christ, who died and now lives to save me, requires from me this devotion of my life to His service for the salvation of the whole world; and therefore do here declare my full determination, by God's help, to be a true soldier of The Salvation Army.

Its very easy to read these through and think yep, yep, and yep to them all. But when I really read them and think about my own life as supposedly mirroring these standards, I have to question my commitment as a Salvation Army soldier. In all honesty, I don't do all these things. I don't try hard enough to live a sold out life for God. Whats more, I don't often see that as a big problem - why? Because they are hard to live by so its ok if I fail a bit. Take for instance, 'I will make the values of the Kingdom of God and not the values of the world the standard for my life.' What a bold statement that is. Another; 'I will be a faithful steward of my time and gifts, my money and possessions, my body, my mind and my spirit, knowing that I am accountable to God.' I find it so easy to think of some of these things as almost seperate to my faith. I can have God, and still do the things I want to do with my time, or let my mind wander away from God or treat my body however I want and not consider God, or let my spirit become focussed more on what the world thinks than what God thinks. It so easy to make excuses for these things because we live in that sort of culture. But we were also reminded ... 'So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.' Romans 12: 1-2

The point is, have I really been keeping my commitment to soldiership in the Salvation Army? I may be in the minority, but I actually like the military terminology we have in the Army. Why? Because the term 'soldier' suggests a battle - a war - a fight. That is what we are part of, like it or not. When I think of myself as a soldier, it reminds me that I am part of a mission, that there is a purpose to my life beyond that which is right in front of me. But that mission needs me to be committed, to not let other stuff crowd it out. It needs me to take these articles of war seriously. Actually take them seriously - like making it my mission to live them out. I am convinced that if I did this - the passion and motivation in my life would show other people that I am serious about my faith. That my faith is worth being serious about. That it is more than just something I choose to do, or an added extra - it is all my life and it is purposeful.

The response I should have to all this is to repent and start to purposefully make it my mission to live out the articles of war. It would be so easy for me to say I want to and I try to live these out, its just hard, and then I could get away with it. But in all honesty, sometimes I don't try to, or even want to. I feel disappointed in myself that when I go to the enrolment of some good friends, I can't stand with them and say - yes I am fully commited to this too. I feel like a hypocrite - I am a soldier, and yet I am shocked by the articles of war - I have forgotten what they say and what I am meant to be trying to live up to.

I want to say this is a turning point - that I will now be purposeful about living out these articles of war - but will I? I don't want to just say it and then not do it. I want to mean it - but I know that tomorrow I am going to wake up and want something different. That I am going to want to live by the standards of the world. That I am going to want to become all that they ask me to be - and that it is likely that I will be more scared of not meeting the worlds standards that I am of not meeting God's.

Um - to post this or not to post this...that is the question. I guess it looks like I need some lovely friends to pray for me. Sorry for the bleeuurrgghh! I just needed to be honest and get it out. Thanks for reading. Love you all.